Life has certainly been turned upside down these past couple weeks. In the midst of remembering Grace through my 18 Days of Grace series, we received devastating news that my uncle Connie had passed away while my aunt was in the hospital recovering from her fall. I know several of my family members read my blog posts and so I wanted to show respect and take a night off from writing about my loss when my aunt was going through so much. Well, one night of not writing turned into several due to visiting my aunt, taking care of family needs, celebrations (Mother's Day, many birthdays, confirmation) etc. I mean truly, the list of events could go on and on.Because there have been so many moments this past month where God hasn't forsaken me (as always) and has carried me through many difficult days throughout the month of May, I will back track and share some of those wonderful occurrences.
Before going back to Mother's Day, I wanted to share something that happened last week that made my heart fill with joy. I've been having several of these moments lately where I look up and know that blessing was from God. This occurrence was one of them.
During my prep hour at school, I turned on my computer and waited patiently for it to load. The windows were open and a soft breeze came through the window. While waiting, I looked up at the picture of Grace with the dandelion taped to the frame and reflected on how much peace I experienced on her one year anniversary celebration on the 18th (I'll write more about that later). I thanked Him over and over again the strength he provided me and calmness I felt. Once the computer loaded, I clicked the internet icon so I could access my school e-mail and looked up again while it loaded. The moment I looked up, the wind picked up and out of the corner of my eye I saw something float my way and land on my nose. I titled my head down and began to bring my my hand up to sweep it off my face when the object fell onto my lap. The second my eyes focused, I realized what had kissed my nose and fell...a dandelion seed.
Now what I find to be a blessing from this was the fact that my office is situated on the third floor of my school and a ways away from the grass (that is covered in dandelions) that the children are not allowed to play on. What are the odds that this little seed would fit through the tiny opening of my window and land precisely on my nose? As Yer, one of my student's said, "It was Grace kissing you on your nose."
I couldn't help but giggle. In fact, I giggled so hard that it reminded me of when I was a kid feeding the seagulls that would dive bomb me while on vacation. The moment I took the picture, I tried to scoop up the tiny seed with my hand. As time would have it, a gust of wind blew it right off my leg. I quickly hopped off my seat so that I could potentially grab a hold of my sweet surprise. It floated safely into my hand where it now sits in my see- through phone case. Every time I turn my phone over, I get to see the unexpected blessing from God, my little dandelion seed that brought a great deal of joy to my heart.
The theme for Grace's celebration of eternal life on the 18th was centered on dandelions and Romans 5:5 (Hope does not disappoint us). I don't view dandelions as being weeds. I see them as unstoppable flowers that grow and thrive in the harshest conditions. These flowers add such vibrant color everywhere you look. It doesn't matter whether they are yellow or a fluffy white, they leave a lasting legacy of color.
I remember from when I was a little girl playing in a sea of dandelions while at recess. My friends and I would run out to the open field with smiles on our faces, dancing and twirling among the flowers. Pure innocence was upon us as we'd pick the dandelions and blow the seeds in hope. We'd watch the seeds get tossed and carried in the wind to an unknown destination, wondering if the seeds would uproot another flower and if our hope would be heard and answered,
I feel like I've been carried like a dandelion seed in a soft breeze through this entire journey by God. He has held me with His sweet embrace and I have never in my life felt so much peace and continual strength.
I continue to wait with a hopeful expectation that I will be united with my sweet pea and the One that laid down His own life for her, for me...and for you. I have been given such an amazing gift in her and I'm so thankful He is using her life with such purpose. I will never forget those precious two hours God allowed Grace to be in our presence. I will also never forget watching her drift away into her eternal life either, like a delicate seed blowing in the wind. And although my ways are not His ways, every day I will commit her life to His hands and trust in His mighty plan for her and for my life.