Appreciating Every Moment

I’m not exactly sure where all the days in April have gone. Weren't we just celebrating Christ’s resurrection not too long ago?  Before I know it, my summer break will be finished and I'll be wishing for the sun to stay out a wee bit longer.  It saddens me that time flies by so quickly.  It bothers me even more to this day that not to long ago, I literally wished time away.  I never took the time to appreciate the moment that I was blessed with or value what I was experiencing. 

Grace changed that for me.

I was reminded again, while I vacationed with Paul and my parents two weeks ago that I need to live in the moment and value the time I have here on earth.  During our first full day at the beach, I sat in my chair, staring out into the ocean and was captivated by the beauty that was before me.  I turned to my left and then my right to view my handsome hubby pouring over his novel and both of my parents with their eyes shut and their heads titled back, taking in the warmth of the sun.  Tears of thankfulness began to seep from my eyes like a leaky faucet.

Here I was, in a place most people consider to be paradise, and in the presence of three people who are very near and dear to my heart.  To say that I was feeling blessed would be an understatement.   I took that moment to draw everything in… to hear the sound of the waves crashing in the distance, the seagulls squawking for food, and the laughter that filled the air.  I marveled at the crystal clear water, the white sand between my toes, and the bright sun that kissed my cheeks.  I continued to gaze at each of my loved ones, and thought about how precious they are to me.  I looked at them, similar to how I looked at Grace, and I felt an overwhelming amount of love. 

I shut my eyes, tuned out the noises, and thanked Him for the opportunity to travel, especially with my family and for allowing me to experience living in the moment...again.  I prayed for time to slow down so that I could take in every detail and appreciate the time I was given with my family. 

As time would have it, the vacation flew by in a blink of an eye.  We were blessed with gorgeous weather, time to enjoy each other’s company, and laughter that lasted well into the night.  Even though there wasn't a moment that went by where I didn’t think of Grace, I felt (maybe for the first time ever) that  I was able to truly enjoy the life I have been blessed with since her passing…to laugh and smile without feeling guilty.  And boy, did it feel good!

I’m certain Grace would want me to live this life to the fullest and appreciate all the blessings God has bestowed upon us.  I am so thankful that I have been awakened to a new way of living.  Each and every breath that I am given is a true blessing.  I have learned so much from being Grace's mama and for that, I am eternally grateful. I feel like God continues to reveal more of Grace's purpose for her short life as time continues on.  I'm praying He reveals more and more because it makes me one proud mama!