The King Of Grace's Heart

Wednesday marked Grace's Daddy's 33rd birthday.  It seems strange to think that we began dating when he just turned 25 years old.  My, have we changed since then...physically, spiritually, and mentally.  This isn't the best picture to show, but Paul actually had lush, curly hair back then! What a babe!

Looking back over the course of the years that we've celebrated our birthdays, these last two have changed me the most. I'm sure it's safe to say that Paul would probably feel the same way.  Two years ago, I received the most precious gift from my mother's friend on my birthday.  The gift was an angel with a baby in its hand and a note hanging from the angel's hand that read, "from above." You can view the gift here.  At the time I received the angel, we had not learned of Grace's diagnosis and so the meaning behind it and the phrase had not yet impacted me.  I loved bringing out the gift this Christmas because it was the first time I realized the irony behind it.  Little did I know that I'd be considering my daughter an angel baby so soon in life.  God knew this gift would touch my heart in such a profound way.

Last year at this time, I was still carrying Grace. I remember it being extremely warm out and my feet were horribly swollen.  On Paul's birthday, I had come home and kicked up my feet after a long day of work.  He was greeted by the two of us laying on the sofa with my attractive black compression socks on.  I'm being sarcastic, if you didn't catch on.  Those poor things smelled awful and made me feel like an eighty year old women.  However, they took down the swelling, and that made me one happy camper.  When we made eye contact, I smiled and said, "Happy birthday Daddy and my handsome hubby."  He walked over kissed me, rubbed his little girl, and began yanking off my socks (without me even asking) because I no longer could bend over to get them off myself.  We joked that his birthday present was the puff of dead skin cells that hit him in the face as he slide the socks off my feet.  Gross, I know!

I know it might be odd to some, but it was important to me that Grace showed her love to her daddy (and grandma for mother's day) while she was still in our presence.  I'd like to think that Grace would have been the quintessential daddy's girl.  Seeing the love that poured out from her daddy on the day of her birth was truly remarkable.  I can only imagine the bond they would have shared here on earth.

I love receiving cards and giving cards to others. When I'm selecting a card for someone, I study each and every word to make sure that they are true to my heart.  Even if the card is unbelievably adorable but the words weren't placed on my heart at the time, I won't purchase it.  I'd like to think most people are like that. When I was picking out a card from Grace to give her daddy on his birthday, I wanted it to reflect the impact that he had on her life. When I came across this card (see below) my heart filled with joy and my eyes with tears. Written in the inside said, " Happy birthday to the king of my heart." Besides Christ, I fully believe her daddy was the king of her heart.  He wanted to give Grace the life God had intended for her no matter how long that may of been. He was her protector and I'm certain she could sense and feel his love for her.

I wasn't able to make anything with Grace's hand or foot prints at this time because she wasn't born yet. Therefore, I picked some of Paul's favorite things and gave it to him as her gift.  It appeared as though it warmed his heart.  To this day, her card sits on his shelf next to her hand prints that I made for his father's day gift.

I've struggled since Christmas with whether or not to include her name on cards since her passing.  Partly because Paul said that others may think it's strange since she isn't with us physically.  I opted to sign our Christmas cards, "Love, The Morris Family."  I felt like then I was including her life, in an indiscreet way so I wouldn't make things awkward for someone else.  Over the last couple of family birthdays, I've changed my thinking and I've signed Grace's name along with ours because she is and always will be apart of our family.

I haven't received any negative criticism from it since and so I thought I'd continue the trend with her daddy on his special day.  I always wake up several hours before Paul every morning and decided that it would be best to let him sleep the day of his birthday.  Upon leaving for school, I took out a marker and wrote him a little note from his two girls. It made my heart happy to include her in his special day. Later on in the morning, he sent me the sweetest text message and thanked his two girls for the note.

Since Grace's passing, birthdays have taken on a new meaning in my heart.  Even though earth is a far cry from heaven, it's a blessing to be alive.  To live life in the presence of the ones you love is an honor for me. I appreciate rising from my bed each morning knowing that God has blessed me with another day to live.  We are all special gifts from above and I love rejoicing over each and every life that God creates.

As each year passes, I am reminded that God has granted me the perfect partner to roam this earth with.  Grace's dad continues to age with such grace.  He strives to life his life for God and always keeps our family grounded in the Word.  He continues to bless me with his gift of positive thinking, and for that, I am grateful.  Whenever I am feeling down and out about missing our sweetie pie, he always helps me see the joy that's coming and to continue having hope in Him.  I love her daddy more than the blades of grass or the sand granules on this earth. He is such a blessing to us.

Thank you, God, for the good gift of Grace's daddy in which you blessed me with.  I am eternally grateful.