I heard of this walk from Jessica, a dear friend that I went to high school with. Jessica and I lost contact throughout our years of college but still remained "Facebook friends." When I posted a picture of my pregnant belly, Jessica wrote me a wonderful message that wished Paul and I congratulations. I wrote her a message back thanking her and informing her of Grace's diagnosis. Much to my surprise, she had suffered a loss of her own while carrying her daughter, Lillian. Lillian didn't have any fatal birth defects, but she did not have any amniotic fluid surrounding her. Without her being surrounded in fluid, Lillian's lungs wouldn't develop. Jessica ended going into labor at 21 weeks and delivered a beautiful little girl who now rests in the arms of our loving Savior. After several messages back and forth, a bond formed again. She and I united over the unfortunate events of our daughters both passing. Jessica remained in contact with me throughout my pregnancy and still to this day. She has such a sensitive heart and understands how a woman grieves. I often believe she should go into grief counseling. She and I pass on information such as our Hearts to Hold and Molly Bears (will post at a later date) websites, quotes, and other supportive information. I was so thankful she informed me of this walk because it meant that I was able to see her and give her a hug for how much she's been apart of my journey.
I asked my friend Kirsten if she'd like to join me on the walk. She accepted my invitation and I was beyond ecstatic. She and I met at Alterra for lunch/coffee prior to the walk and then made our way to the location. As we approached our meeting area, I instantly saw Jessica holding onto the stroller of her beautiful 5 month old son, Riley. Her other children were playing off in the distance and her husband stood proudly next to her. Oddly enough, Jessica's husband works at the same company my twin brothers do. I was able to greet Jessica with a hug (sometimes I forget other people may not feel comfortable with me doing that) and she introduced us to her family. Jessica had mentioned that she has gotten something for Paul and I and would bring it to the walk with her. She held our her hand and gave me these two precious bracelets to remember our first loss and our sweet Gracie.
Jessica directed Kirsten and I inside to obtain a kite pin, a bulletin for the service, and to sign the kite that will be flown after the walk to remember our loved ones.
The service began shortly after we made our way back outside. A lady sung a beautiful song that made almost everyone in the place tear up and asked for those that wished to shout out their child's name to do so. The mile walk began on our slightly chilly day. As people held quilt squares in their arms, I wrapped myself up in Grace's quilt made by her sweet Auntie Kara.
As the walk came to an end, we approached a hill filled with tons of people that had walked in remembrance of an angel. I was in awe to witness the amount of families and individuals that were there in support. It truly warmed my heart to see the love that filled the lakefront. The service continued on the hill with everyone's quilt square laid out on the ground while the kite flew above our heads. It was a beautiful site to see, despite knowing each of those quilt squares represented so much pain and hurt.
Instead of focusing on the hole in my heart, I took away one word from that day. HOPE. Seeing so many families with little ones running around made me smile from ear to ear. There was laughter and joy that spewed from the mouths and hearts of many people. I realized that I can't dwell on the past and think that my next pregnancy will result in the same suffering. My hope rests in my Lord and Savior and I will put my full trust in Him all the days of my life. I'm learning to be still and let Him guide me through this life as He pleases.
A very special thank you to Kirsten and Jessica for joining me on this amazing experience! I will continue to walk in memory of those who have gone before us and are in a much, much better place. See you next year...October 6th, 2013! <3
Beautifully written
ReplyDeleteSo happy to have shared that day with you!! xoxo
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