She Has My Heart

Missing you more and more, my sweet girl!

It is very hard to believe that only five months ago my sweet angel baby was snuggled up in my arms.  Around this time, I was changing her into her beautiful pink dress that her grandpa and grandma had purchased her and was singing "You Are My Sunshine."  I often sang that song to her while I was carrying her.  The day after we received her diagnosis, I couldn't seem to get myself out of bed.  I think my body was so mentally and physically drained from all the crying I had done the day before.  I remember sitting up in my bed and began to sing her the song.  I worked my way to, "You'll never know dear, how much I love you.  Please don't take my sunshine away," and I completely lost it. She was being taken away from me way before I had anticipated...my sunshine, my little peanut that made me happy when skies were gray.  I felt like I began my grieving/mourning right then and there...and continue to each and every day of my life.  

The day of her birthday was a complete whirlwind.  I was blessed with an unbelievable amount of strength and peace, but all the events flew by.  Oh, I just wished time would have stood still. She was such a beautiful sight to see and her warm touch made my heart skip a beat.  God's grace was wrapped into her sweet little face and it brought tears to my eyes. 

As I look back on our beautiful pictures of her arrival into this world, I can't help but notice that she was never set down while she was alive. Kelly captured moments of joy and sorrow on our faces, but she was nestled up close to the ones that would show her the most love here on this side of heaven.  Our sweet pea passed away peacefully in the arms of her daddy and made her way to her heavenly Father's arms.  She was safe with us and is even safer with Him.  In one day she experienced so much...and here I thought I went through a lot on her diagnosis day.   I'm so thankful for those two hours and seven minutes with her wrapped up close to my heart.  Even though I can't snuggle up to her here, I know He's got her and she will always have my heart.

Your mama loves you, little one.  Continue dancing for Him.  I'm one day closer to joining you!  I love you a bushel and a peck! <3