I've been standing strong today. The 18th of every month has proven to be difficult, but today was a different story. I simply love when this day falls during a weekday because my sweet girls at school always say happy anniversary to her. It melts my heart every time. Another reason why I enjoy it so much is because this is what I get to look at when sitting at my desk.
Beside the picture of my adorable hubby, this picture of her and I sits high above the piles of paperwork and books on my desk. It has to be one of my very favorites because Kelly was able to capture a truly genuine smile. Looking at her brought me so much happiness, I couldn't help but smile. I also enjoy looking the sweet dandelion picture that was placed in my mailbox at school by an anonymous person and the fake dandelion that Yer, one of my students, made for me.
I always begin my day by reading the Word of the day on K-Love and the Bible app on my phone. Since my quiet time with God is spent in the evening, I like reading these verses to keep me grounded throughout the day and my eyes fixed on Him. Similar to the impact of listening to Christian music, I repeat these verses over and over again in my head throughout the day. When I woke up this morning and read Psalm 46:1, which states,"God is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble," I felt the Holy Spirit literally calm my soul. This verse helped me to remember that my strength comes from Him and He is the One I need to go to when my heart is troubled. After I read the verse, I closed my eyes and prayed that He would be my strength today and to remind me to constantly turn to Him when I feel myself becoming weak. God knows my heart far better than I do and I was over joyed that He walked close by me today. Don't get me wrong. I know He is with us all the time, but today especially, I felt Him calm my soul and bring me rest.
My sweet Grace,
I came across this picture (below) on Pinterest again and I instantly thought of you. I pray these things for you so that you may truly know that you were formed by God's hands and placed in this world for a purpose. It's almost been a year since I had you in my arms. I can't understand why it feels like just yesterday you were entering this world. Everything is still so fresh in my mind. I still get these phantom kicks on the side of my stomach where you rested all the time. They feel so real that it literally brings me back to the time I carried you inside of me. And as much as I hated having to say goodbye to you, I'd give anything for that time to have you back. Even though the journey was hard, there is something about carrying a child that is life changing. It is probably the best thing I've ever experienced apart from actually giving birth and meeting Jesus face to face. God used your life to teach me many things, beautiful. I learned what a miracle a child is and how everything has to be so carefully woven together for a baby to be born. Hearing your heartbeat, watching you grow in size, and seeing your chubby cheeks on the ultrasound machine made me realize even more how God's hand is in every aspect of the creation of a child. He opened my eyes and although I wish it didn't have to mean loosing you, there was a purpose to your beautiful life. I'm truly thankful for you Grace. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created you. Happy 10 month Heavenly Anniversary. I love you, sweet pea!
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