As I sit down to write tonight, my heart is heavy. My readers span well across the country and I receive roughly 200 blog views a day. Some of those viewers are my very own family members and my dear friends. I sat tonight and read several of my blog posts and felt disgusted with the words that covered my screen and I am sorry that my wide variety of readers may view me as ungrateful and unappreciative. I am imperfect and my words are imperfect as well.
I often lay my heart out on the line for people to truly understand how I'm feeling. Through which, I hope that my feelings and experience with Grace only brings glory to His name. Sometimes I re-read what I wrote and realize that my words did not come across as I had hoped. As I read my several of my latest postings, I got the feeling that others may view my words as being ungrateful for the gift of prayer. I often write about how others have blessed me with physical reminders that my sweet girl is not forgotten. However, I seem to brush over how thankful I am for the gift of prayer support that has drastically helped Paul and I walk through this entire journey.
I want to clarify from my last posting that I don't expect anyone to do anything...not even pray for us. But when you do, you warm our hearts. Yes...I am speaking for Paul because we talk about your prayers ALL the time. We don't need to know your praying. That is between you and God. I can tell you one thing, however...I know our faithful Creator has heard those prayers and has blessed us with unbelievable strength and peace to make it day in and day out. Several people shared with us that they had their bible study groups praying, their bible study groups had home groups praying, and those home groups shared our story with individuals across the United States. I had my friends grandparents, parents, brothers, and sisters sending us cards telling us they were praying and it meant more to us than any physical object. Because you know what? I fully believe with my WHOLE heart that God heard those prayers and answered them. For those of you that weren't present in the labor and delivery room the day Gracie was born, you'd be in awe how much strength and power He blessed me with that day. I was so content just to have my baby that grew inside of my for nine months just to rest in my arms. The time she and I spent together alone in our postpartum room was the most peaceful experience I can remember having and I fully attribute that to the overwhelming amount of prayer warriors.
I'm sorry if I hurt or discounted the gift of YOUR prayers. That was NEVER my intention and hope you can accept my sincere apology if you were ever hurt by my words written. I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart for blessing us with your prayers. For I believe, the gift of prayer if the best gift of all.
God bless you all...each and every one of you!
With Love,
Jessica
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