Cousin Love

For Gracie - From her loving cousin, Emily

Do you see that precious little girl in the background of my picture frame?  The little peanut in Paul's arms on our wedding day is Gracie's sweet cousin, Emily.  The words engraved on the frame says, "The Ones You Love."  What a perfect frame to describe how I feel about those two! The smile that radiates off both their faces warms my heart!

Emily is the second youngest niece/nephew I have on my side of the family.  Out of all the other kids, Emily has had the most compassionate heart for her cousin.  When I was pregnant with Grace and my family would get together, Emily would always run up to me, say hello to her cousin, and give her a hug before she did anything else.  I will never forget her sweet smile and her gentle touch.  My five (soon to be six) year old  niece made Grace feel the most apart of our family and she embraced her with open arms.  It broke my heart that the one person who probably wanted to see Grace the most, couldn't see her on her birthday.  But I know my Grace had to of felt Emily's tender love the entire time she was inside me!

One Sunday in April, Paul and I had joined my brother and his two children (Emily and Owen) over at my parents house for dinner.  It was unlike most Sunday's because my sister-in-law was working and my other brother and his family had decided not to join us.  We sat in the living room playing with the kids and chatted with one another.  After playing on the floor, I got up and commented on my swelling feet. They sure were an interesting sight to see. Our receptive Emily, went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of lotion and began to give me a foot message!  Bless her heart, she smiled the entire time. After she was done, I took some lotion and rubbed it on my tummy.  Emily decided that she wanted help me out and began gently rubbing the lotion.  In the process, her little nail scratched me a bit and I showed her how her scratch made a letter with the lotion.  So, she added more lotion to my stomach and began writing Grace's name and used my  belly button to draw a heart. <3 I think she just about used my mom's entire bottle of lotion because she continued to play with Grace for a very long time.  It melted my heart when Grace would move and Emily felt her.  Emily's expression on her face is forever etched in my soul.

After State Fair one evening, my brother and his family stopped over to pick up their car.  I invited them in and immediately Emily began noticing all of the things I have put up in memory of Grace.  She walked into my bedroom and said, "Auntie Jessie, you have Grace's blanket (her quilt Kara made) on your bed."  It completely shocked me that she knew that because I only showed it to people at the hospital... and Emily wasn't there.  We made our way upstairs and I showed her the large bin of everything I've ever received associated to Grace.  I even have my positive pregnancy test with Grace's name written on it in green permanent marker! I am THAT sentimental.  Emily was mesmerized by everything in the bin and continued to ask questions and dig through Grace's things.  My brother and sister-in-law literally had to pry her away from it.

Emily is wise beyond her age.  She gets what to say/do to a "loss mama" even though she's going only on six and doesn't understand what exactly she's doing.  She talks about Grace, inquires about her, draws her pictures, gets her teddy bears, and doesn't hold back her thoughts.  And boy, do I love that about her!  Emily is one person who shows this world that Grace is real and she doesn't tip toe around my feelings.  I'm sure she probably doesn't even think twice about that because she loves her cousin, and that's all that matters.

I consider myself blessed to have been given this opportunity to bond with her through this experience, even if it came at the expense of loosing my little girl.  She has taught me more about loving someone in the past couple of months than I have learned my entire life. She truly is a gift from God and I feel so honored to be called her Auntie.  If you ever get the chance to meet this little peanut, you'd fully understand how blessed I am.  She is spunky, comical, tenderhearted, and the best dressed little diva around.

And guess what?  I'm super excited because Paul and I get to have a slumber party with her at our house this weekend!!! =) 

Lovin' on our beautiful Em!