Moving Mountains

I was a little apprehensive about going back to work today.  For one, I was feeling very overwhelmed with the amount of paper work I had to organize for other teachers to complete their "end of year filing."  At school, I am extremely organized and try to instill that skill in my students...that doesn't always work though, especially teaching middle school kiddos.  So, coming back to a room with paper work everywhere scared me a little bit.  I felt a lot of pressure on my shoulders even though my coworkers are amazing and would never be upset.  I also was nervous about how people would react to me after having lost Grace.  I know how it feels when you don't know exactly what to say to someone and the awkwardness that one may display or  how some people just try to avoid the conversation/interaction all together.  I would never want someone to feel "strange" or feel like they couldn't come talk to me because of my loss.

On my way to work this morning I was praying that He would be my stronghold today and that I could shine His light even during my suffering.  After I had finished praying, Laura Story's Mighty to Save came on the radio, one of my favorite songs. 

   

One verse that really seems to resonate with me the more and more I hear it is:

Savior, He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save

He is mighty to save

God never ceases to amaze me, especially when I'm feeling stressed, overwhelmed, hurt, confused, angry etc. He knows my frustrations and He loves me no matter what.  I'd like to think God has a good sense of humor (he did create me) and smiles when I feel this way because he gets it.  He understands my heart and wants to help remove whatever I am feeling.

When I was carrying Grace I often felt very stressed out and overwhelmed with life.  There were times that my heart would race so fast that I thought I was going to pass out.  I was attending graduate school, the demands of teaching increased, and I was student-teaching in my classroom, but was being observed for my ESL teaching by my college professor. I remember vividly crying my entire way to school one morning  and felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I entered the school building looking like a total mess and still uncontrollably crying.  I ran up to Kara's (my "sister") classroom which is located right above my room.  She was sitting at her desk and looked up the moment I made my way through the door.  She saw my demeanor and her eyes began to swell with tears.  She asked what was wrong, ran over with open arms, embraced me, and instantly began praying. 

My doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant and thought my depression would increase after having Grace.  I really struggled with the decision on whether or not I should fill it.  I felt God would continue to carry me through this and He wouldn't abandoned me during this trail. Plus, she spelled my name as Jennifer Morris on the script.  As sassy as this sounds, I felt like if she didn't even know my name, how could she possibly know how I was feeling inside and that I have an AMAZING Father that would move my mountain.  

 I was in constant prayer and presented my concerns to our Lord. Through the obstacles I was facing, He never left my side and constantly reminded me that he would not leave nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).  We are all going to go through trails in our lives and have mountains to climb over.  The journey may seem long and we may not be able to see or get to the other side as quickly as we would like.  But with trusting in our Lord and Savior, He can get you to that other side.  He can move that mountain from your life if you are willing to trust in Him and to be obedient to His Word.  Our God is a Mighty God and can fill your life again if you are willing to surrender to Him.  He has moved mountains in my life and still is! Praise be to Him! 

Go, now, dear friends, and let Him move those mountains in your life!